Lil Brothers. Can't shoot 'em, can't...shoot 'em?
What kind of Xmas present do you get for a little brother that:
You wrapped a golf club around his head when he was 7.
You've caught masturbating...twice.
Can pick you up and physically remove you from a room without breaking a sweat.
Has a truck the size of a small home, so obviously purchased as a form of compensation.
You had to set "If you can't spell it you can't use it as an insult" rule when he tried calling you a Communist b/c you don't like red meat.
Wears a camo-rabbit-lined hunting cap around the house...in his underwear.
You have quietly taken the blame for boxs of his Corona hidden in the basement.
You once watched try to drink an entire gallon of milk in 2 minutes. And then puke it all up.
Knew what a dildo was before you did.
Thought he was Peter Pan for nearly a year of his life.
You used to talk into attacking your older brother when he was sleeping and then sat back to watch the fireworks.
Smells.
Calls your dog gay.
You once threatened to kill a man if he laid a hand on your little brother, despite the fact that you were half his size.
You've had to hear your friends gush over how hot he is since he was 13. Ew.
Makes fun of your hangovers.
Calls you Crash whenever you're in public.
Spends hours waxing his gigantic phallic symbol in the driveway.
Has more facial hair than Castro.
Still can't do his own laundry. HE'S 18!
You wrapped a golf club around his head when he was 7.
You've caught masturbating...twice.
Can pick you up and physically remove you from a room without breaking a sweat.
Has a truck the size of a small home, so obviously purchased as a form of compensation.
You had to set "If you can't spell it you can't use it as an insult" rule when he tried calling you a Communist b/c you don't like red meat.
Wears a camo-rabbit-lined hunting cap around the house...in his underwear.
You have quietly taken the blame for boxs of his Corona hidden in the basement.
You once watched try to drink an entire gallon of milk in 2 minutes. And then puke it all up.
Knew what a dildo was before you did.
Thought he was Peter Pan for nearly a year of his life.
You used to talk into attacking your older brother when he was sleeping and then sat back to watch the fireworks.
Smells.
Calls your dog gay.
You once threatened to kill a man if he laid a hand on your little brother, despite the fact that you were half his size.
You've had to hear your friends gush over how hot he is since he was 13. Ew.
Makes fun of your hangovers.
Calls you Crash whenever you're in public.
Spends hours waxing his gigantic phallic symbol in the driveway.
Has more facial hair than Castro.
Still can't do his own laundry. HE'S 18!
Labels: Completely Unrelated Rantings
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on 4.12.06 at 9:27 PM.
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