Keep Your Knob to Yourself
I've been without blogging inspiration as of late so instead of posting little pictures of kissing puppies or kilts blowing in the wind, I've decided to post one of my good friend's blogs. It made me laugh till I thought milk would come out my nose (even though I had no idea what he was talking about most the time) so I figure some of you may enjoy it also. Lift your milk glasses, friends and say cheers to Coke on your testicles.
"Chrono Trigger is the best game in the history of ever. Not only do you travel through time and kick the asses of monsters that are massively much bigger than you, but the characters are varied and lovingly memorable. You have a robot, a frog man and a buxom prehistoric blonde bombshell. It may only be 16-bit, but she's fuckin' hot. Swords, guns, aliens, monsters and saving the world. All on the Super Nintendo system. They could have stopped at the SNES, if you ask me. In the long run, Nintendo peaked a little early. Of course, there's something to be said about modern fighting games where the female characters' boobs actually move. Not the most important part of the game, but it's nice to know that those programmers really take their jobs seriously. Y'know, taking pride in their work and all that jazz. It's little touches like these that make me wonder how people were ever happy with Pong. Oh, right, the seventies. Not exactly our nation's proudest years. You know the stuff on nicotine patches? No, not nicotine, the stuff the put on the patch that allows the nicotine to enter your bloodstream through your skin. Well, in the seventies, everybody (see also, the tight asses) was afraid that somebody would mix that same chemical with a batch of LSD and start painting doorknobs with it, effectively tweaking everybody within a 6 block area out of their freakin' skulls. To my knowledge, it never happened. Why would anyone want to waste that much LSD on people who would never appreciate it? Which reminds me, did you know that the original drummer from Jefferson Airplane abused drugs so much that he still has daily conversations with Jesus, God and Ghandi? He has that many holes in his brain. Which is why I try to stay away from Coca Cola. I know it's a big jump from LSD to caffeine, but Coke can eat through a fuckin' metal bolt in just over a week. I'm not taking any chances. So remember: Chrono Trigger good; LSD on your doorknob and Coke on your testacles bad."
"Chrono Trigger is the best game in the history of ever. Not only do you travel through time and kick the asses of monsters that are massively much bigger than you, but the characters are varied and lovingly memorable. You have a robot, a frog man and a buxom prehistoric blonde bombshell. It may only be 16-bit, but she's fuckin' hot. Swords, guns, aliens, monsters and saving the world. All on the Super Nintendo system. They could have stopped at the SNES, if you ask me. In the long run, Nintendo peaked a little early. Of course, there's something to be said about modern fighting games where the female characters' boobs actually move. Not the most important part of the game, but it's nice to know that those programmers really take their jobs seriously. Y'know, taking pride in their work and all that jazz. It's little touches like these that make me wonder how people were ever happy with Pong. Oh, right, the seventies. Not exactly our nation's proudest years. You know the stuff on nicotine patches? No, not nicotine, the stuff the put on the patch that allows the nicotine to enter your bloodstream through your skin. Well, in the seventies, everybody (see also, the tight asses) was afraid that somebody would mix that same chemical with a batch of LSD and start painting doorknobs with it, effectively tweaking everybody within a 6 block area out of their freakin' skulls. To my knowledge, it never happened. Why would anyone want to waste that much LSD on people who would never appreciate it? Which reminds me, did you know that the original drummer from Jefferson Airplane abused drugs so much that he still has daily conversations with Jesus, God and Ghandi? He has that many holes in his brain. Which is why I try to stay away from Coca Cola. I know it's a big jump from LSD to caffeine, but Coke can eat through a fuckin' metal bolt in just over a week. I'm not taking any chances. So remember: Chrono Trigger good; LSD on your doorknob and Coke on your testacles bad."
Labels: Guest Appearances, Penis
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on 20.11.06 at 9:54 PM.
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