My Epidemic

So my day was going alright. The Vagina Monger had finally gotten chewed a new one in class. I giggled helplessly when the professor (who looks like a skinny Santa) called her an "ugly American." The Dean of my college gave me the go ahead on graduating in the Spring. Boyfriend informed me that he had bought a motorcycle last weekend and me a cute little jacket so I can ride on the back in true biker momma fashion. And then when I was driving home all happy and content with life and the people in it SOME FUCKING ASSWIPE HIT ME FROM BEHIND AND PUSHED ME INTO A HUGE GODDAMN INTERSECTION! So yeah. And then the aforementioned asswipe took off. No. He did not stop to see if I was okay. No. He did not stop to check if there was any damage. AND YES! YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I CALLED THE COPS AND GAVE THEM HIS LICENSE PLATE INFORMATION! YEAH THAT'S A FELONY MOTHERFUCKER! FELONY! YOU BETTER PRAY TO GOD ABOVE THAT YOU AND I NEVER CROSS PATHS IN A DARK ALLEY CAUSE I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH A GODDAMN BUTTERKNIFE!
And now that I've eaten, taken a shower and watched atleast 3 Geico caveman commercials and Rachel Ray make a Thanksgiving feast in less than 60 minutes, I'll be venturing into work. I'm no longer swearing in fits of tourettes like spasms. And my hands have uncurled from the claw-like gestures they were making at the thought of white Blazers.
On a sidenote, I've become obsessed with Scrubs. I don't know why.

Labels: Completely Unrelated Rantings

This entry was posted on 13.11.06 at 10:00 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.