A Tale of Sunshine
The events Sunshine witnessed at 26th and Cuming one wet winter's night have quickly become legend at my workplace. It's actually not that interesting of a story unless you're into construction area masturbation...which I am. Come to think of it (Get it, cum?), I don't know anyone who wouldn't be interested in a story that includes masturbation in a construction area. I mean the details leading up to such a scenario are no doubt priceless. But I digress.
Sunshine was trucking along in her crazy Speedracer way when she was stopped at the corner of 26th and Cuming (Seriously, Cuming. I'm not making this up). Out of the corner of her eye she noticed some movement outside her passenger side window, on the street corner. Sunshine, with her keen Ninja like senses, turned her head ever so slightly and saw the shadowy figure of a young man seemingly accosting a construction area sign. She squinted. He seemed to be beating the sign wildly taking whatever young adult angst built up inside him entirely out on the unsuspecting sign. She leaned across her passenger seat and squinted harder. What was he doing? Without warning, he'd suddenly sped up his violent attacks, beating some sort of caotic rhythm into the poor tin object. Was he...no...he couldn't be...wait...YES! He was having sex with a huge, bright orange construction area sign! Oh Lord! Did it say, "Men at work?" It did!
The light turned green. She crept forward into the intersection, ignoring the angry honks of the cars behind her as she was unable to take her eyes from the trainwreck occuring on the corner of CUMING! Yes, dear friends, the gods have a sense of humour! How else could such a thing take place?
Sunshine circled around back again to "double check" what she'd seen. The poor, evidently drunk young man was still having violent sex with the sign and not even attempting to hide the fact. She hurried back to work to spread the news, cursing the fact that she didn't have a camera in her car.
And in walked Sunshine with tales of construction sign masturbation and thus, a star was born (or something equally cheesy and momentous) and the rest is history. (Ah the cliches!)
Sunshine was trucking along in her crazy Speedracer way when she was stopped at the corner of 26th and Cuming (Seriously, Cuming. I'm not making this up). Out of the corner of her eye she noticed some movement outside her passenger side window, on the street corner. Sunshine, with her keen Ninja like senses, turned her head ever so slightly and saw the shadowy figure of a young man seemingly accosting a construction area sign. She squinted. He seemed to be beating the sign wildly taking whatever young adult angst built up inside him entirely out on the unsuspecting sign. She leaned across her passenger seat and squinted harder. What was he doing? Without warning, he'd suddenly sped up his violent attacks, beating some sort of caotic rhythm into the poor tin object. Was he...no...he couldn't be...wait...YES! He was having sex with a huge, bright orange construction area sign! Oh Lord! Did it say, "Men at work?" It did!
The light turned green. She crept forward into the intersection, ignoring the angry honks of the cars behind her as she was unable to take her eyes from the trainwreck occuring on the corner of CUMING! Yes, dear friends, the gods have a sense of humour! How else could such a thing take place?
Sunshine circled around back again to "double check" what she'd seen. The poor, evidently drunk young man was still having violent sex with the sign and not even attempting to hide the fact. She hurried back to work to spread the news, cursing the fact that she didn't have a camera in her car.
And in walked Sunshine with tales of construction sign masturbation and thus, a star was born (or something equally cheesy and momentous) and the rest is history. (Ah the cliches!)
Labels: Drunken Adventures
This entry was posted
on 16.11.06 at 8:31 PM.
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10:40 AMDamn it, I didn't think anyone was watching!
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