Beer Vs. Vagina
A friend sent this to me. I couldn't help but post it. It's hilarious.
Beer vs. Vagina
A running tally for the typical male who has taken part in that endless debate of which deserves more attention, beer or the vagina.
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER.
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA.
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER.
4. You don't have to worry about finding a hair in your beer. Vagina is a different story.
One point to BEER.
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA.
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA.
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA.
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER.
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA.
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA.
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA.
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER.
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER.
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER.
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo...
Call it a DRAW.
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER.
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER.
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it.
One point to BEER.
20. An excess amount of vagina will not force you to have your liver detoxified in the emergency room.
One point to VAGINA.
21. Your access to beer is not limited by menstruation cycles, emotions, principles, or your beer being tired and/or not in the mood.
One point to BEER.
22. Having an open beer in your car is illegal. Having a girl in your car without pants on is just fucking cool.
One point to VAGINA.
23. Beer will never complain about how fast your are done with it and on to the next one.
One point to BEER.
24. No matter how many times you partake, the opening to a bottle/can of beer never gets stretched out to where it's no longer enjoyable.
One point to BEER.
25. If you are at a party and you grab a beer, regardless from where you pick it up, there is absolutely no chance that beer will give you a disease that will ruin your life.
One point to BEER.
26. Vagina from places other than Germany, Ireland and Canada are worth enjoying. The same cannot be said for beer.
One point to Vagina.
27.Vagina makes you erect and wet, beer gives you erectile dysfunction and dehydrates you.
One point to VAGINA.
28. You dont have take beer to dinner and a movie to enjoy it.
One point to BEER.
29. if a beer gives head, its a bad thing. if vagina gives head, its all good.
One point to VAGINA.
30. Two beers at one time and you're content, but two vaginas at one time and you're in heaven.
One point to VAGINA.
31. One too many beers can ruin a night; one too many vaginas... well now there's just no such thing!
One point to VAGINA.
32. If you throw up after drinking alot of beer youv'e had a good night.... if you throw up after having vagina you need to go to the doctor
One point to BEER.
33. You dont have to be 21 to get vagina legally.
One point to VAGINA.
34. The going rate for beer is around $3 at a bar - the going rate for vagina is about $50 on the street.
One point to BEER.
35. Waking up next to a disgusting beer is not as bad as waking up next to an ugly girl.
One point to BEER.
36. You might wonder what you're drinking if the beer doesn't have a label but if the girl doesn't have clothes then you could care less
One point to VAGINA.
37. If one of ur friends drinks ur beer its fine, but if they hook up with your vagina then you have a problem.
One point to BEER.
38. I've had more luck shoulder tapping for beer than I have for vagina.
One point to BEER.
39. it's simple...stick your dick in a beer can...and see how that goes...stick your dick in vagina...and well ENJOY!
One point to VAGINA.
40. Beer will not cook you breakfast in the morning.
One point to VAGINA.
41. Beer doesnt need more then a sip every once in a while to keep it happy.
One point to BEER.
42. Beer can turn green if left out to long, vagina can turn green also if left out to long, but you can stomach the beer.
One point to BEER.
43. Beer doesn't expect you to shower gifts upon it every anniversary. It doesn't even expect anniversaries.
One point to BEER.
44. When you finish a beer, seeing it again later is a bad thing. When you are finished with a vagina, seeing it again later is usually a good thing.
One point to VAGINA.
45. It takes multiple beers to get the feeling you're after. It should only take one vagina.
One point to VAGINA.
46. Beer fills a void inside your soul, you fill a void inside vagina.
Call it a draw.
47. Beer tends to be STD free.
One point to BEER.
48. Beer never checks out other potential partners. The same cannot be said for vagina..
One point to BEER.
49. You can always enjoy beer without a tightly wrapped piece of plastic around your penis.
One point to BEER.
Beer vs. Vagina
A running tally for the typical male who has taken part in that endless debate of which deserves more attention, beer or the vagina.
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER.
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA.
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER.
4. You don't have to worry about finding a hair in your beer. Vagina is a different story.
One point to BEER.
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA.
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA.
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA.
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER.
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA.
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA.
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA.
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER.
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER.
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER.
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo...
Call it a DRAW.
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER.
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER.
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it.
One point to BEER.
20. An excess amount of vagina will not force you to have your liver detoxified in the emergency room.
One point to VAGINA.
21. Your access to beer is not limited by menstruation cycles, emotions, principles, or your beer being tired and/or not in the mood.
One point to BEER.
22. Having an open beer in your car is illegal. Having a girl in your car without pants on is just fucking cool.
One point to VAGINA.
23. Beer will never complain about how fast your are done with it and on to the next one.
One point to BEER.
24. No matter how many times you partake, the opening to a bottle/can of beer never gets stretched out to where it's no longer enjoyable.
One point to BEER.
25. If you are at a party and you grab a beer, regardless from where you pick it up, there is absolutely no chance that beer will give you a disease that will ruin your life.
One point to BEER.
26. Vagina from places other than Germany, Ireland and Canada are worth enjoying. The same cannot be said for beer.
One point to Vagina.
27.Vagina makes you erect and wet, beer gives you erectile dysfunction and dehydrates you.
One point to VAGINA.
28. You dont have take beer to dinner and a movie to enjoy it.
One point to BEER.
29. if a beer gives head, its a bad thing. if vagina gives head, its all good.
One point to VAGINA.
30. Two beers at one time and you're content, but two vaginas at one time and you're in heaven.
One point to VAGINA.
31. One too many beers can ruin a night; one too many vaginas... well now there's just no such thing!
One point to VAGINA.
32. If you throw up after drinking alot of beer youv'e had a good night.... if you throw up after having vagina you need to go to the doctor
One point to BEER.
33. You dont have to be 21 to get vagina legally.
One point to VAGINA.
34. The going rate for beer is around $3 at a bar - the going rate for vagina is about $50 on the street.
One point to BEER.
35. Waking up next to a disgusting beer is not as bad as waking up next to an ugly girl.
One point to BEER.
36. You might wonder what you're drinking if the beer doesn't have a label but if the girl doesn't have clothes then you could care less
One point to VAGINA.
37. If one of ur friends drinks ur beer its fine, but if they hook up with your vagina then you have a problem.
One point to BEER.
38. I've had more luck shoulder tapping for beer than I have for vagina.
One point to BEER.
39. it's simple...stick your dick in a beer can...and see how that goes...stick your dick in vagina...and well ENJOY!
One point to VAGINA.
40. Beer will not cook you breakfast in the morning.
One point to VAGINA.
41. Beer doesnt need more then a sip every once in a while to keep it happy.
One point to BEER.
42. Beer can turn green if left out to long, vagina can turn green also if left out to long, but you can stomach the beer.
One point to BEER.
43. Beer doesn't expect you to shower gifts upon it every anniversary. It doesn't even expect anniversaries.
One point to BEER.
44. When you finish a beer, seeing it again later is a bad thing. When you are finished with a vagina, seeing it again later is usually a good thing.
One point to VAGINA.
45. It takes multiple beers to get the feeling you're after. It should only take one vagina.
One point to VAGINA.
46. Beer fills a void inside your soul, you fill a void inside vagina.
Call it a draw.
47. Beer tends to be STD free.
One point to BEER.
48. Beer never checks out other potential partners. The same cannot be said for vagina..
One point to BEER.
49. You can always enjoy beer without a tightly wrapped piece of plastic around your penis.
One point to BEER.
Labels: All things Vagina, Drunken Adventures, Guest Appearances
This entry was posted
on 21.11.06 at 10:18 PM.
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