Things I've Learned Working DownTown
1. "No me gusta pepito."
2. If you walk in on a conversation and only hear: "And he didn't give me no Vaseline or nothin'!" Just walk away.
3. Prostitutes will hide cash anywhere so long as they get to keep it afterwards.
4. Just because you keep meat frozen doesn't mean it won't go bad. (Don't ask.)
5. Drag queens are usually abnormally tall and have fruit in their bras. But atleast they smell good.
6. Pitbulls love turkey.
7. Don't ever make assumptions of people. You'd be amazed how many times you're wrong.
8. I hate hyphenated names. Seriously people, just pick one name and stick with it. It's not that goddamn difficult.
9. Hennessey and Pepsi is gross.
10. Surprisingly, masturbation on a traffic sign is extremely unfulfilling. (So I'm told.)
11. Nobody appreciates Mountain Dew downtown besides me. I'm an outcast.
12. When you're a chick and you are nice to a strange male they immediately think you want their dick. From this I've concluded that I should start all conversations with, "I am not interested in your penis."
13. Apparently a young white girl driving downtown at 1AM singing James Brown's "I'm black and I'm proud," is really odd. I dont see why but whatever.
14. It really is the quite ones on your crew that are the freaks.
15. Soul food rocks my world.
16.Metrosexuals are taking over the world.
17. If an officer sounds like a boy and looks like a boy, check his serial number before you address him as "Sir." 'Cause he's most likely a "Mam."
18. Dubbing a girl "Korean Itchy Disease" will still not stop a horny college boy from screwing around with her.
19. Ass-less chaps aren't really that uncommon.
20. There really is no age-limit on victims. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen.
21. Colorblind baldmen find Rolette extremely difficult.
22. I am a reincarnated Arab sheephearder. An Officer I work with (Who is black and about 6'3") was my younger brother and I bought him his first wife because he was too cheap to cough up the dough. Secretly though, I'm pretty sure she was a man...
2. If you walk in on a conversation and only hear: "And he didn't give me no Vaseline or nothin'!" Just walk away.
3. Prostitutes will hide cash anywhere so long as they get to keep it afterwards.
4. Just because you keep meat frozen doesn't mean it won't go bad. (Don't ask.)
5. Drag queens are usually abnormally tall and have fruit in their bras. But atleast they smell good.
6. Pitbulls love turkey.
7. Don't ever make assumptions of people. You'd be amazed how many times you're wrong.
8. I hate hyphenated names. Seriously people, just pick one name and stick with it. It's not that goddamn difficult.
9. Hennessey and Pepsi is gross.
10. Surprisingly, masturbation on a traffic sign is extremely unfulfilling. (So I'm told.)
11. Nobody appreciates Mountain Dew downtown besides me. I'm an outcast.
12. When you're a chick and you are nice to a strange male they immediately think you want their dick. From this I've concluded that I should start all conversations with, "I am not interested in your penis."
13. Apparently a young white girl driving downtown at 1AM singing James Brown's "I'm black and I'm proud," is really odd. I dont see why but whatever.
14. It really is the quite ones on your crew that are the freaks.
15. Soul food rocks my world.
16.Metrosexuals are taking over the world.
17. If an officer sounds like a boy and looks like a boy, check his serial number before you address him as "Sir." 'Cause he's most likely a "Mam."
18. Dubbing a girl "Korean Itchy Disease" will still not stop a horny college boy from screwing around with her.
19. Ass-less chaps aren't really that uncommon.
20. There really is no age-limit on victims. It's the saddest thing you've ever seen.
21. Colorblind baldmen find Rolette extremely difficult.
22. I am a reincarnated Arab sheephearder. An Officer I work with (Who is black and about 6'3") was my younger brother and I bought him his first wife because he was too cheap to cough up the dough. Secretly though, I'm pretty sure she was a man...
Labels: Completely Unrelated Rantings, Workin' Hard or Hardly Workin'?
This entry was posted
on 16.8.06 at 8:46 PM.
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