White Slavery
Have I mentioned my parents are fucking crazy? They are. They're suffocatingly over-protective, which may stem from the fact that they both work for the very same Police Department I do. I'm like the fucking golden child down there. Everyone knows my parents. They remember when I was this tall. They remember when my mom got pregnant. They remember when my Dad oh-so-suavely walked up to her for the first time and asked if she was Filipino. (Which she isn't. She's Japanese for God's sake.) Everyone downtown knows everything about me, my parents, and everyone of my embarrassing toddler stories. So of course, my parent's manipulated my sort of twisted celebrity status to their advantage and have set up an elaborate network of spies to keep an eye on me. That’s how crazy protective they are.
Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. And I fully recognize that:
A.) I'm their only daughter.
B.) They can’t stand the thought of losing another child
C.) That having cops for parents is never an easy thing anyway
But what I don't understand is why my parents have to be fucking crazy on top of everything else! Shouldn’t the rest of the stuff be enough without my parents being clinically psychotic!
For example, I'm about to graduate with four years of a good full-ride scholarship under my belt. Granted, my degree isn't in what I'd initially planned, but I'm happy with it. It's not a boring bachelors in business where you can go right out and find a job, but it's something I enjoy and doesn't make me want to scratch my own eyes out just to get out of class. AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY A FUCKING DIME FOR ME TO GET IT! That small fact seems to constantly elude them when they’re critiquing my life choices.
But for awhile now I’ve just felt this itch to run away. My odd degree gives me the chance to either continue my study with a well-known program here, or study abroad in programs not as well known. I would love to study abroad except for the fact that I just don’t want to study anymore. I’m sick of it. I’m over the whole college thing.
I love my friends and family more than anything but if I have to stay in this city with them for one more year, I’m going to hurt someone. I’m glad I stayed to get my degree but I’m slowly going crazy. And not like regular stir-crazy. Oh no. I’ve skipped that stage and jumped directly to the ax-wielding, "Here’s Johnny!" crazy-cabin-fever-mother-fucker stage.
So when I stumbled across some info about Work Exchanges for college students, a light bulb went on in my head. Hell yeah! I could go work in a restaurant or pub for a couple months while exploring the UK. That would be fantastic.
Of course when I ran this past my mother the first thing she said was, "I thought you were getting your Masters?"
"I was thinking about it but this is the first thing I’ve been really excited about in a long time."
"But it could be a gimmick. A scam."
"I realize that, I’d do all my homework but I think doing this could be so much fun. I’d get to explore without worrying about my grades."
"You need to speak to your father about this. I don’t think it’s a good idea. They could sell you into white slavery."
At that point I walked out. I was on the verge of throwing something or crying. I couldn’t decide which. For the first time in four years I really saw something I wanted. Something that looked exciting and fun. Something that I wasn’t completely ambivalent to.
I want this.
So now what to do about it…I could go of course without considering my family’s feelings on the topic, but frankly I’d pay for it as soon as I got back. They’d never let it go. That’s how our family works. Especially regarding their little girl.
On the other hand if I do end up going to get my Masters over seas, I’m not sure I’d have the will to actually follow through and finish. But if I stay here for another three years to get my Masters in the Midwest, I’d have wasted the opportunity. If I stayed I’d buy a house and get a full-time job while I finished school and never again be able to just pick up and go to another country for 6-months.
I’m at an impasse. But the truth is. I want this. And that’s all there is to it. I want this. Maybe if I keep repeating it they won’t be able to talk me out of it. I want this. White slavery be damned.
Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. And I fully recognize that:
A.) I'm their only daughter.
B.) They can’t stand the thought of losing another child
C.) That having cops for parents is never an easy thing anyway
But what I don't understand is why my parents have to be fucking crazy on top of everything else! Shouldn’t the rest of the stuff be enough without my parents being clinically psychotic!
For example, I'm about to graduate with four years of a good full-ride scholarship under my belt. Granted, my degree isn't in what I'd initially planned, but I'm happy with it. It's not a boring bachelors in business where you can go right out and find a job, but it's something I enjoy and doesn't make me want to scratch my own eyes out just to get out of class. AND THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY A FUCKING DIME FOR ME TO GET IT! That small fact seems to constantly elude them when they’re critiquing my life choices.
But for awhile now I’ve just felt this itch to run away. My odd degree gives me the chance to either continue my study with a well-known program here, or study abroad in programs not as well known. I would love to study abroad except for the fact that I just don’t want to study anymore. I’m sick of it. I’m over the whole college thing.
I love my friends and family more than anything but if I have to stay in this city with them for one more year, I’m going to hurt someone. I’m glad I stayed to get my degree but I’m slowly going crazy. And not like regular stir-crazy. Oh no. I’ve skipped that stage and jumped directly to the ax-wielding, "Here’s Johnny!" crazy-cabin-fever-mother-fucker stage.
So when I stumbled across some info about Work Exchanges for college students, a light bulb went on in my head. Hell yeah! I could go work in a restaurant or pub for a couple months while exploring the UK. That would be fantastic.
Of course when I ran this past my mother the first thing she said was, "I thought you were getting your Masters?"
"I was thinking about it but this is the first thing I’ve been really excited about in a long time."
"But it could be a gimmick. A scam."
"I realize that, I’d do all my homework but I think doing this could be so much fun. I’d get to explore without worrying about my grades."
"You need to speak to your father about this. I don’t think it’s a good idea. They could sell you into white slavery."
At that point I walked out. I was on the verge of throwing something or crying. I couldn’t decide which. For the first time in four years I really saw something I wanted. Something that looked exciting and fun. Something that I wasn’t completely ambivalent to.
I want this.
So now what to do about it…I could go of course without considering my family’s feelings on the topic, but frankly I’d pay for it as soon as I got back. They’d never let it go. That’s how our family works. Especially regarding their little girl.
On the other hand if I do end up going to get my Masters over seas, I’m not sure I’d have the will to actually follow through and finish. But if I stay here for another three years to get my Masters in the Midwest, I’d have wasted the opportunity. If I stayed I’d buy a house and get a full-time job while I finished school and never again be able to just pick up and go to another country for 6-months.
I’m at an impasse. But the truth is. I want this. And that’s all there is to it. I want this. Maybe if I keep repeating it they won’t be able to talk me out of it. I want this. White slavery be damned.
Labels: Scholarly Articles of Interest
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on 5.6.06 at 5:15 PM.
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