Intros
Up until a few months ago (about 6 to be honest) my college life thus far had been relatively mild. I'd been in a long term relationship with a great, quirky guy. Was part of a chick-trio that deserved to be immortalized in some form of media or another. And wasn't much into the party scene. In retrospect I think the substantial change in one of these areas sort of had a domino effect on the rest and quickly knocked my clean way of living completely on its ass.
See, the Boyfriend and I hit a tragic slump with his sudden increase in hours at his physically taxing job. I know, the 'I've got to work late' line is so clichéd and I should have been on my guard for the signs of a lame cheater, but I knew for a fact he was working the hours he said he was. (Trust me, I looked into it.) Thus the problem became, what to do with all my downtime when the Boyfriend is too tired to go out/crash on the couch without drooling/have wild all-day sexcapades? So, like most chicks, I turned to my two best partners in crime for support.
For the sake of anonymity, I've decided to name them after the tv characters I think they are the most alike. The first will be Sam, as in Samantha Jones the slutty, obnoxious blonde from Sex In The City. Trust me when I say that besides her character being blonde, out of her 20's and a Manhattanite, the two are freakishly alike. My second partner in crime, and frequently the one I spend the most time with, shall from now on be referred to as Chris. If you haven't actually scene Cameron Diaz as Christina Walters in The Sweetest Thing, I suggest your own version of our plans last weekend which included a bottle of red wine and a dvd of said Diaz flick. A failsafe formula for a good time. Chris not only looks like a tall, blonde movie star, but she's got that totally fun loving personality that (if she weren't my bestfriend) would otherwise make me hate her for being so cool. (Seriously, go get that movie. It's so worth it.)
The three of us individually seem to intimidate people pretty easily, whether it be by looks or the force of our personalities. Together...we tend to scare strangers into moving to other tables in restaurants. Like I said, I'm just waiting for an HBO producer to approach us with a contract.
So as Boyfriend and I wound our 4-year relationship into a fucked-up knot, I turned to Chris and Sam for support. At first, they were all too happy to fill my lonesome nights with Smirnoff and Brad Pitt movies. Then their own boytoys felt neglected, school started to get frantic, and I found myself alone more and more often. Thus I took up with some older, single friends at work (By older I mean 30's) and slowly slipped away from Boyfriend, Chris and Sam. I found myself drinking and going out more, and paying less and less attention to school. Being as I'm on scholarship, none of this was good.
So here I am. Six very long months away from the life I've lived for four years, and the people that meant so much to me. After a sudden realization a few weeks ago in the office of my long-time physician, I realized that the physical symptoms I'd been trying to resolve with antibiotics were indicative of the emotional obstacle course I'd been trying to maneuver. Apparently, I have depression. Since I've actually suffered from it before when my family suffered from a tragic loss, I was surprised I hadn't recognized the symptoms. I guess I was too busy suffering from the illness (Fuck you Tom Cruise, metal illness does exist.) to actually analyze the symptoms. Thus the existence of this blog.
When last I dealt with the disease (Now I'm flipping the bird at you, Cruise.), I kept a journal and wrote letters to friends to keep myself centered until I felt right again. While Chris and I regularly vent to eachother, I feel like maybe blog-venting is a better idea than dumping all my bullshit on her shoulders. She's got shit of her own to deal with.
So here's my blog. A place to relay my random adventures. To document my friends and I's morbid personalities. And hopefully, my own personal Anti-Depression flotation device.
Enjoy.
See, the Boyfriend and I hit a tragic slump with his sudden increase in hours at his physically taxing job. I know, the 'I've got to work late' line is so clichéd and I should have been on my guard for the signs of a lame cheater, but I knew for a fact he was working the hours he said he was. (Trust me, I looked into it.) Thus the problem became, what to do with all my downtime when the Boyfriend is too tired to go out/crash on the couch without drooling/have wild all-day sexcapades? So, like most chicks, I turned to my two best partners in crime for support.
For the sake of anonymity, I've decided to name them after the tv characters I think they are the most alike. The first will be Sam, as in Samantha Jones the slutty, obnoxious blonde from Sex In The City. Trust me when I say that besides her character being blonde, out of her 20's and a Manhattanite, the two are freakishly alike. My second partner in crime, and frequently the one I spend the most time with, shall from now on be referred to as Chris. If you haven't actually scene Cameron Diaz as Christina Walters in The Sweetest Thing, I suggest your own version of our plans last weekend which included a bottle of red wine and a dvd of said Diaz flick. A failsafe formula for a good time. Chris not only looks like a tall, blonde movie star, but she's got that totally fun loving personality that (if she weren't my bestfriend) would otherwise make me hate her for being so cool. (Seriously, go get that movie. It's so worth it.)
The three of us individually seem to intimidate people pretty easily, whether it be by looks or the force of our personalities. Together...we tend to scare strangers into moving to other tables in restaurants. Like I said, I'm just waiting for an HBO producer to approach us with a contract.
So as Boyfriend and I wound our 4-year relationship into a fucked-up knot, I turned to Chris and Sam for support. At first, they were all too happy to fill my lonesome nights with Smirnoff and Brad Pitt movies. Then their own boytoys felt neglected, school started to get frantic, and I found myself alone more and more often. Thus I took up with some older, single friends at work (By older I mean 30's) and slowly slipped away from Boyfriend, Chris and Sam. I found myself drinking and going out more, and paying less and less attention to school. Being as I'm on scholarship, none of this was good.
So here I am. Six very long months away from the life I've lived for four years, and the people that meant so much to me. After a sudden realization a few weeks ago in the office of my long-time physician, I realized that the physical symptoms I'd been trying to resolve with antibiotics were indicative of the emotional obstacle course I'd been trying to maneuver. Apparently, I have depression. Since I've actually suffered from it before when my family suffered from a tragic loss, I was surprised I hadn't recognized the symptoms. I guess I was too busy suffering from the illness (Fuck you Tom Cruise, metal illness does exist.) to actually analyze the symptoms. Thus the existence of this blog.
When last I dealt with the disease (Now I'm flipping the bird at you, Cruise.), I kept a journal and wrote letters to friends to keep myself centered until I felt right again. While Chris and I regularly vent to eachother, I feel like maybe blog-venting is a better idea than dumping all my bullshit on her shoulders. She's got shit of her own to deal with.
So here's my blog. A place to relay my random adventures. To document my friends and I's morbid personalities. And hopefully, my own personal Anti-Depression flotation device.
Enjoy.
Labels: Completely Unrelated Rantings, The Boyfriend (duh Duh DUH)
This entry was posted
on 17.5.06 at 2:24 AM.
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